What causes low self-esteem？
I wake up early in the morning.
I meditate and go for a run.
I come back and study whole day.
I feel confident and contended.
I wake up late in the morning.
I feel tired and sleep again.
I woke up again and use Facebook.
I get bored and watch a movie.
I feel bad about myself.
Everybody has some targets in life. If you are not acting in a way which will help you achieve those targets, your self-esteem is bound to hurt.
Lack of actions.
• Watching TV isn’t an action
• Eating isn’t an action
• Going to school isn’t an action
A real action is something that you want. It can be a side hustle, a hobby…Something that you want!
I enjoy writing, thus I write.
High self-esteem come with pride.
If you aren’t proud of yourself, how can’t you have a low self-esteem? The quickest hack to overcome your situation is to win more often. When you win, your body release dopamine and testosterone. Both are strong hormones that push you to do more.
Once you start to win, you will always crave more winning. You’ll get obsessed about winning. This is how you get started. Win. Win a contest, win a challenge.
Winning is key.
No sense of personal sovereignty.
We are expected from birth to listen to and obey the wishes of others. A stimuli that most of us grow up with and the effects of which culminate over time. Ultimately, we lose any sense of personal sovereignty and inner guidance; and thus, we believe that someone else always has the - more correct way - or knows better than we do.
We discount our own intuition and mistrust ourselves as a result of this learned response. Subsequently, this becomes a filter for how we view the world, and for how we view ourselves in the world.
We come to rely on the opinions of others for validation, because we expect that everyone else knows better than we do. And the more we get validation from others, the more we seek it. It becomes an addiction. When we are validated by someone else, it triggers our psycho-biological reward system releasing dopamine into the brain. We feel good. We feel accepted. We want more of that feeling.
The rub is because we do not validate ourselves, we rarely get the validation we want from others. Or worse, we restructure our lives and the way we live in order to garner as much attention as possible. Our identity becomes lost in the quest for external validation.
If we would just validate, trust and know ourselves this cycle could be broken.